Saturday, May 30, 2009

quick & fast

getting to know you was really fast. we moved too fast. but i never ever thought we were. was i blinded by love? blinded by you? when you are close? when you put your hands around me? your head on mine? and swaying to the music? why didn't i stop myself? why didn't i stop you? to continue this outrageous thing? it's not like me. i do not understand. i can't. i don't know what i'm trying to understand more. myself or you? it's just so complicated. so this is what you called a complicated relationship? i'm not myself around you. that's all i know. when i'm with you i'm someone else and not me. this is so weird. this has never happened to me before. haven't happened to any particular guy before. except you.

what do you have that makes me in this way? i do the things that i'm not suppose to do when i'm with you. its like i trust you. giving my all to you. i've never done what i've done. not even once.

i don't know how i see myself now. the most important thing is i don't know how all my friends see me now. what would they think of me? i've changed and changed coz of you. and its unlikely of me. am i dangerous now? maybe i should not mix with anyone now. maybe i should just hide myself. hide away from you and not wanting to see you. when i'm with you i'm out of control and when i'm not with you i'm myself again. trying to understand why exactly did i do the thing i did when i was with you. i'm like a demon when i'm with you. but i don't know why i want to be that demon. wanting to spend more time with you. wanting that "casual relationship" to be more of a relationship than just "casual" but why can't you see? you say you don't like long distance relationship. me too. i don't. but do u want to stop what we're having between us. i know there was another person in my mind when i'm with you. but she's my close friend. one of my best friends. i don't want to hurt her feelings. she knew you first. she has feelings for you first. being in this situation isn't easy for me. but the feeling is inside. liking you but telling you. am i doing it the right way? so that the 3 of us won't get hurt? what am i suppose to do? should i confront you? or keep all this inside of me? and just tell no one. no one at all.....

phoebz <3>

9:46 PM

i ♥ pink and white Calla Lilly Flowers....

just ♥ and adore them...
:)

phoebz <3

9:55 AM

problems are just part of LIFE... !
more like MY life :(

when you meet that special someone you think you have found everything. that was how i felt just last week. thought i've found that special someone. knowing that he can keep me warm at night when it's cold, knowing that he would be beside me when i wake up in the morning saying "Good Morning" all but made my day.... :)

but i guess this isn't a fairytale like my friend said. this is reality and therefore we are faced with many problems. some problems which can be solved, while some just can't be.

however, how would i know that i've solved my problem when i still feel so down, so not in the mood for almost everything. knowing that i will always be thinking about what he's thinking in his mind of his. not wanting him to think and hurt so much just because seeing him hurt would just hurt myself even more.

in other times i also do not want to see my closest friend here hurt too just coz i'm happy. that's just not right. not right at all. but what happens when 2 girls like the one same guy...hmmmm 2 guys, a girl and a pizza place.... (miss that series...haha)

i don't know where to go from here. and there are also the stalkers. my personal stalkers. these people are scary... VERY SCARY !!!! @.@
i told you people that i'm not a model. NOT A MODEL...
i might do it sometimes but i'm not one. i just do it to help a friend or just for the fun of it. but i'm no model. i don't get paid.... geez you people can stop stalking me already.
i've enough problems up my sleeve i just don't think all these would help me in any way. so you guys should PLEASE STOP... before i actually report this to the police.

i've got to continue hitting on my books.. HATE FINALS....! gah.

phoebz <3

9:11 AM

MICHELLE !!!! thank you thank you :)

omg!!!! thank you thank you MICHELLE... :)
so happpy that my blogskin is up HAHA and its all thanks to my dear friend, MICHELLE hehe.

i would be updating this blog from time to time when i'm feeling down or even when i'm feeling happy. you guys are welcome to read it :)
hehe.....

just have to share with everyone... i luv BOA's US album! its the best.... LOVE IT :)
hope she'll sing more english songs.... just luv her. she dances very well toooooo.....
you guys should take the time to hear it... the best... !

phoebz <3

7:20 AM

Welcome!

it takes a minute to find a special someone. an hour to appreciate them. a day to love them. and an entire lifetime to forget them. ♥

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It's Me

Name: Phoebe Wong LiLian

D.O.B: 5 February 1988

♥ : pink and white calla flowers. chocolates. a nice sweet relaxing time with those i ♥ my storybooks. music. movies. animals: DOGS most of all then cats and all the other animals ♥ snuggling hehe. i would be thinking for more.... :)

Hate: insects. prawns and crabs. coconut... but depends i would be thinking for more also... :)

Most of all i ♥ my family, friends and the ♥ of my life if i find that special him ;) hopefully i will...

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